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Meet Claire..

Her students would never suspect it, but maths teacher Claire is a bit of a softie. A forbidding figure in the classroom, she silences rooms of rowdy teens with the mere twitch of an eyebrow. Students who believe that she is easy pickings as a new recruit to the teaching ranks quickly see the error of their ways. And yet she routinely sobs uncontrollably at heart wrenching adverts involving helpless, adorable animals on TV. 


With quadratic equations before lunch, and Pythagoras in the afternoon, Claire is a stickler for the rules who takes no nonsense from her pupils (or anyone else). She is often discovered by the school cleaner long after home time, furiously scrubbing the whiteboard clean of permanent marker smudges.

Claire may not tolerate cheek from chatty teens, but she has a weak spot for her pet lop-eared rabbits, Candy and Floss. They can do no wrong in her eyes, and she frequently overlooks their (adorable) nibbling habits, focusing instead on signs of great intelligence she detects in them. Like the time Candy knew that the postman would arrive at 13:01 exactly by waiting at the door. Well, napping at the door anyway.

Claire weathers the damp, icy winters of Kendal by cosying up by the fire with Candy and Floss, and yelling the correct answers at hapless University Challenge contestants. On truly arctic nights, Claire retreats to her cosy bed. She sweeps all 23 scatter cushions off the faux fur covers, and sinks down to catch up with the day’s marking.

Claire is particular about her bed. She can detect a lumpy old spring through 9 layers of mattress padding – she counted. And a rock-hard mattress leaves her as cold as an incorrectly simplified equation. Luckily for Claire’s students, she’s in a better mood these days: her mattress woes have vanished. Claire sets her adjustable firmness mattress to a fluffy 30, and sleeps like an angel on cloud nine. After a great night’s sleep, Claire strides into the classroom, grinning. She has to swiftly rearrange her expression into a stern frown before the students see.

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